When I look into the mirror I see a small man. Not because I’m Dravidian, but because of the person I’ve mostly been.
This is not a law, but have you noticed that we have the tendency to hate in others, what we ourselves are weak in?
It’s almost as though, we’re hiding it from ourselves, and having discovered that flaw in someone else, are now able to ‘deal’ with it, and pounce on this opportunity to accuse, persecute and punish that flaw.
Again, I’m not saying this is a law, but have you noticed that if you hear yourself speaking negatively about others, you’re often giving voice only to the ‘hidden you’ and rarely, accurately, describing the other person?
Why do we hide from ourselves?
Is this true for you? ~~~”I hate being told what to do”.
Do we not often find, that social norms are binding rather than liberating?
In some mystic way, the world we live in wants to rear us in fear. It wants us to embrace & treasure guilt.
This now I state as a law: – the guilty are known by the fact that they trust solely in their own strength. (In differing bandwidths)
The product of guilt is a people who are a law unto themselves and seek their own honour… at varying degrees.
I am a small man because I have lived much of my life thus.
Amongst the religious, you find these to be those who have exactitude about beliefs & scripture – whichever religion they belong to – and are constantly in our faces about how the rest of the world – especially people of their own ‘faith’- is deviant and not conforming to their gods’ explicit expectations.
They also desire the best seats and the best of everything everywhere every time. (and no surprises – often expecting it with the least effort!) They are the prime reason why many otherwise godly men & women abandon, or are lukewarm about, religion.
In organisations you find these at every level. Some how, the rules never apply to them. Whether they are clerks working with the organisation for long, or senior managers in the upper echelons, it doesn’t matter.
Like some Ostrich owner-managers, these too hide their mediocrity and lack of passion under complex ‘entitlements’. They are the prime reason successful executives don’t remain with an enterprise…why once thriving innovative enterprises, now cling desperately to maintenance management, routine operations and repeated formulas.
You’ll find them everywhere if you look: in families, in associations, amongst a group of friends, in traffic…sometimes all it takes is to just peer into the mirror! Until the mirror revealed differently, I always thought I was quite the great guy. Not because of any angelic attributes, but simply because I was as perfect as anyone could reasonably expect of me. My faults/flaws were minor, silly and not to be considered at all!
My coach worked with me in the gentlest of manners. He knew the place I needed to reach and did not attempt to hurry me there.
To realise what one is not, is liberating. Too ‘see’ what one can become, fills one with yearning.
If necessity is the mother of invention, yearning is the Big Daddy of passion!
Coaching is that magic mirror, which allows me, not only to take cognizance of the small man I am today, but also helps me see the developed person I am tomorrow.
It’s magical, because in it, we can see our way and find our bridge to sprint across the gap.
In some way perhaps, the gap is often little else, than the distance between fear and hope.
Think about this: Today, are you hoping for your tomorrow, or protecting your yesterday?