Love is a very necessary Management tool.
It is often easier for us to build a relationship with a stranger than it is for us to do so with a brother or a sister, simply because the ‘new person in our life’ is usually more willing to accept us for who we claim to be than are members of our family.
It’s the same in businesses & organisations too. Often we simply don’t know how to deal or function effectively with people we know, as well as we are able to deal with people we are just getting to know….or people we treat as clients and customers.
The reason why this happens is simply the lack of love.
Love needs me first to be able to Love myself. Only then am I able to function effectively with others. Most of us however only learn to spoil ourselves and therefore we are able easily to ruin others. How do we tend to spoil ourselves? By being easy on ourselves. By accepting the lie about ourselves that we are greater and better people than we really are. By providing for ourselves things we find difficult to provide for those we ‘claim’ to love. We are always good enough, but the people we love are somehow too young or too inexperienced or too undeserving for the same.
It’s easy to recognise (a) if we love ourselves and (b) whether someone else loves himself or herself. The person who does not love himself constantly externalises this self-loathing. S/He or she will always find fault with other people and constantly correct other people regardless of how close the relationship is.
People who don’t love themselves expect a standard of perfection from others that they delusionally think they adhere to; and they really enjoy or ‘Love” the discomfort other people experience when being corrected. They disguise this loathe by believing that they are only seeking the best interests of the other person, or a common goal.
Sometimes it’s difficult to start doing new things. Especially the older we are the tougher it gets to do new things. It’s easier often to stop doing things. So rather than trying to learn what Love does lets see and embrace what Love does not do… and commit to stop doing that.
The most important person is you yourself and learning to perfect love of yourself is a thing of beauty. Don’t forget – God already loves you. We just have to learn to do so ourselves. So the exercise is NOT to try and learn how to love somebody else but to love ourselves –
7 things to Stop :
1. Stop being rude. Don’t worry whether you express it loudly to others. Stop entreating rude thoughts about other people in your mind and sharing this at Pillow talk time or ‘bonding’ time.
2. Stop keeping a record of wrongdoing
– To embrace love you got to let go off something else. Embracing a past wrong doing and repeating it constantly to yourself is the lie that enables you to continue hating yourself – because it provides you with the rationale to be the rude person you are now being.
3. Stop embracing frustration – Stop giving up; imagine how tough a relationship can be if at every small thing an employee wished to resign? People who hate themselves are always on the verge of giving up or quitting…or do so easily.From selling businesses to quitting jobs to quitting on relationships.
4. Stop open & hidden threats – Stop threatening dire consequences nor threaten to display or reveal a self that is “hidden”
5. Stop being pompous – Cease boasting about achievements and possessions. Nor display these in a loud fashion.
6. Stop being jealous – Stop being upset and angry and in turmoil over what somebody else received which it perceives is rightfully and duly ‘mine’
7. Stop raping – Stop ripping apart the clothing of dignity that men and women meagerly wear about themselves. Stop stripping people naked in public…or behind their back by your words. Don’t be scared of one another. There is nothing that the other person can do to you that is as bad as what your own fear is already doing to you. Being loving and being scared are simply incompatible. Don’t be scared to be you. Don’t be scared that somebody else will think you don’t love them.Responding in fear is the easiest way to know that we love ourselves and others ineffectively. The biggest problem in leadership or management today is the governing of self. Learning to love themselves perhaps, is what most leaders need.