The answers we provide ourselves are almost always right. This causes big problems. If we were wrong we would be willing to change, but who in his right mind would change what is right?
Also, if our answers are externalized what can we do about it? If the answer to your current problem is in getting rid of a person, or group of people, how do you deal with it? Some people no doubt, resort to murder.
What do you do when you tell yourself that you can have a better life but for your spouse/boss/colleague or that you could have done better had it not been for your parents/ the education system/ teachers/school/family?
The fact is, any idiot knows the difference between right and wrong. It does not require 23 years of study and multiple qualifications to articulate this difference.
What is difficult to realise often though, is the difference between the right answer and the almost-right answer.
Most of us possess this mental model:Personal Mastery equals possession of the answer.
Possessing the answer somehow satisfies all our requirements and so millions across the world struggle because of “ I have a lousy partner, sibling, child, colleague, boss, subordinate, job, income, life-style, neighbours” types of understandings.
‘ I’m like this because you’re lousy ’, for most is a sufficient and satisfactory type of answer.
It rarely seems to matter that the problem never goes away, as long as we are able to repeatedly articulate our answer.
So here is a definition I’d like to give:The work of Answers is to build our capacity to create our future.
Any answer, which does not enable us to build capacity to create our future differently, is worthless.
A habit we have formed from our infancy is to focus on trying to find the answer, or the solution, to something. All our rewards and achievements have come to us (our punishments & isolation too) by our ability to provide ready-made answers.
Most of us, however, are unaware and inadequately skilled in asking the question.
It’s not that our answers are not right, but that perhaps our questions are not.
Asking: “Who does he think he is?” produces a (right) answer and subsequent reality for us, differently from asking, “What about me wants this?” and the subsequent answers and reality it will offer.
Asking: “Why am I stuck with this nutcase?” at work or at home, produces a different answer and reality from “How can we build on what s/he is good at better?”
Our answers are almost always right and there is simply no point in arguing about the answers.
Changing the question will change your life.
Answers are usually the real problem. Questions are the solution.